Shirley E. Coen
May 1950 – April 2025
Born in Jacksonville, FL in 1950, Shirley carried the warmth and resilience of her Southern roots with her throughout her life. As a young girl, she moved to Delaware, where she would go on to build a life centered around family, hard work, and compassion for others. Shirley dedicated much of her career as manager of IT-Network and Systems Services at the University of Delaware — a role she took great pride in and found deep fulfillment through.
Family was always the heart of Shirley’s life. She is survived by her three sons: Justin Coen and his wife Elena, Micah Coen and his partner Karen Pahuana, and Aaron Coen. She was a proud and devoted grandmother to Isobel (Izzy) Coen, daughter of Justin and Elena.
She was preceded in death by her beloved daughter, Alisha Coen, who passed away two years before her — a loss Shirley carried with immense strength and grace. Her parents, Daniel and Clara (Strickland) Bessent, and her brother Kevin Bessent also preceded her.
Shirley also leaves behind her loving sister, Tina Gaffney, her husband, Dan Gaffney, and their son, Owen, with whom she shared a very special bond. She is also survived by her brothers, Daniel Bessent and Ernest (Cindi) Bessent.
Shirley lived her life with a vibrant spirit, often expressing herself through bright colors, warm gatherings, and countless small acts of care. Her favorite times were spent surrounded by family, especially during the holidays, when she would go out of her way to make every celebration unforgettable with decorations, food, and thoughtful gestures.
She will be remembered for her quick smile, her wonderful sense of humor, and her enjoyment of crime shows, particularly “Walker, Texas Ranger.” But most of all, she will be remembered for her steadfast love, her quiet resilience, and the countless ways she made life brighter for those around her.
The family wishes to express their sincere gratitude to Kathleen and Craig Zerbe, Tamra, Patricia, and Yaa from Griswold Home Care and hospice nurse Jenn for their unwavering care and support.
Shirley’s legacy is one of strength, independence, and boundless love. She will be deeply missed and forever cherished by all who knew her.
In Remembrance
Shirley was a quiet philanthropist. If you would like to make a donation in her memory, please follow the links below to support one of her favorite causes.
Celebration of Life
Please join the family for a Celebration of Shirley’s Life:
Saturday, June 7th
11:00am – 2:00pm
Deerfield Country Club
507 Thompson Station Road
Newark, DE 19711
Get Directions
RSVP
Donate in Remembrance of Shirley
Neumann-Goretti Basketball
Shirley’s son Micah has coached at Neumann-Goretti for eight years, and during that time she has regularly donated to support the team’s underprivileged kids.
St. Jude Children’s Hospital
Thanks to the generous support of donors, families never receive a bill from St. Jude for treatment, travel, housing or food — so they can focus on helping their child live.
Wounded Warrior Project
Your generous, tax-deductible donation to the Wounded Warrior Project® (WWP) will change the lives of over 1 million injured warriors, caregivers, and family members.
Memories of Shirley
Dear Micah. We are sorry for the loss of your mother. We would like to make a donation to St Jude’s Childrens Hospital to support Shirley Coen’s charity.
Aaron, I feel fortunate to have known your Mom just a little through many years…from Gateway visits to the Hagley Car show in recent years, plus Christmas parties in between! She was so friendly and kind with a huge sense of humor! I’m donating to St.Jude in loving memory of your Mom ❤️ Love to you, Margie
I’m so honored and grateful to have met Ms. Shirley. Her spirit, her smile, and her, energy put me in mind of my grandmother which whom I was extremely close to. I’m am filled with so much gratitude to have been able to be in her presence♥️ I always looked forward to my days with her knowing we would laugh much and enjoy each others company. I will always and forever remember her smile🩶. Cheers and Cheese to you sweet lady💜
I enjoyed seeing Shirley when she would come to Jacksonville, Fl.
She was always so sweet and funny.
My prayers & condolences to Shirley’s family. She was truly a wonderful and loved Mother, Grandmother & Sister.
Shirley was truly a special person who lived an exceptional life. My condolences to all who were blessed to share that life with her.
It was a great pleasure to have known Shirley, as her caregiver I was blessed to provide care for her and to be in such great company with such a beautiful soul… My sincere condolences to her wonderful family… Thank you guys for being so supportive 🙏
Legend at UD-IT. Loved working with her, loved her sense of humor. She ran a tight ship and if you got out of step with protocol, she pretty much sent you to time-out. Glares, stares, but all in good humor. My two son’s worked here at different times as miscellaneous wage employees during their summers off from school. She was like a Grandmother to them. They both loved her too, as she messed with and teased them. When they moved on in life, she always asked about them. My wife and her would talk for very long periods of time during our IT Christmas parties, and again, my wife just loved her personality and humor. This is the mark of a great human being and we miss her!! From the Quickle Family, deepest sympathies to the entire Coen family – thank you for sharing her with us.
Aaron your mother was so dedicated to you children and her job. We had so many wonderful times together. She would tell me so many great stories about Izzy. Also she would show me awesome videos. Your mom will be remembered for so many things in her life. Give your brothers my condolences.
Micah and the Coen Family,
May Shirley be at peace, and you all gain God’s peace. She was a special lady, mother, and friend to so many. You will be able to recall her strrength of character and goodness as you process this loss.
Mike and Jackie Gallagher
Aaron your Mother was loved by you. May all of your wonderful memories of her give you peace .
Dear Aaron,
I am ever so sorry for your loss. May all of her memories be for a blessing.
With Love, Susan Bank
Dear Coen Family, I met Shirley many years ago and she was always very kind to me. My condolences to your family.